Let’s give Danny Tanner a run for his money.
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A handheld Dirt Devil vacuum so lightweight you’ll be able to clean and dance around your living room to Hilary Duff’s “Come Clean” at the same time without fear of tripping over a cord.
A garbage-disposal foaming cleaner to scrub away the stinky grime that builds up on the blades and in the pipes.
A bottle of wood polish and conditioner that’ll have your antiques, cabinets, and tables gleaming like you just had them delivered for the first time.
A grout cleaner you can use to keep your tub and shower squeaky clean and as inviting as a five-star spa.
A cleaning pen so all of your jewels (whether they’re real or not) will be *so* sparkly everyone will wonder where you got ’em from.
A red wine stain remover, so the next time you jump while watching a horror movie, it won’t matter that you spilled your vino all over your brand-new couch.
A pet-hair remover with a unique patented brush design, so you’ll be able to invite guests to sit down without fear of them being covered head-to-toe in your dog’s hair.
Lavender laundry detergent from Love Home and Planet that’ll probably leave you lingering to inhale your warm, fresh-from-the-dryer towels for a bit longer.
Carpet shampoo to get rid of any stain or smell left behind by any adorable child or furry friend.
And a pet stain and odor remover, so when your pup gets a little too excited that you just got home and decides to pee all over your shoes, it’s sort of OK.
A luxurious citrus-scented cleaner you’ll consider to be an actual treat if you’re anything like Monica Geller. You DESERVE this.
A compact washing machine you’ll tell everyone you know about because it’ll save you tons of quarters and time spent at a laundromat.
A fabric shaver that’ll keep everything from sweaters to furniture looking fresh and lint-free.
A robot vacuum to clean your house for you, because you and I both know you’re going to put it off ALL week.
Or a slim Dyson vacuum, in case you’re a little weary about having a ~robot~ in your house.
A squeegee that’ll prevent water marks from drying on your glass shower door and give you the opportunity to pretend you’re a badass window cleaner in a massive skyscraper.
Schmidt’s cleaning vinegar – it has a scent that’ll make you think you’re relaxing on a tropical vacation instead of wiping down the mess you made while making a smoothie and forgetting to close the blender tightly.
An OXO water-bottle-cleaning set that includes three brushes to easily get inside those hard-to-clean crevices AND has a 4.8-star rating on Amazon.
A jetted-tub cleaner, so you’ll never find yourself soaking in filth while trying to catch up on your me-time.
A PhoneSoap UV sanitizer you can toss your phone into for a quick 10 minutes after you get home to get rid of the grime that’s surely lurking around.
A container of mink oil that’ll condition and waterproof any leather products you own — never worry about your fave handbag or boots getting worn-looking again!
A 24-pack of microfiber cleaning cloths, so you’ll forever be ready to fight the good fight against dirt and grime.
A stain remover you can rely on to cling to rust like your dog clings to you the minute they see you packing a suitcase.
A squeegee-broom contraption with an extendable handle, in case you’ve ever had the urge to rake the inevitable fallen hair from your carpet.
Granite cleaner that’ll leave your counters feeling smooth as a baby’s bottom, even after the messiest of meal preps.
A cleaning spray made just for your car, so the next time you spill your coffee all over yourself or your kid dumps their soda in between the seats, you’ll still be covered.
And a FlexiSnake tool you’ll watch remove so much gunk and hair from your drains you could probably make a wig with it (but plz, don’t).
OK, time to get back to *my* spring cleaning.
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Make your life even tidier. Check out the best all-natural cleaning products for your home, the best bathroom cleaning products, organization products perfect for neat freaks, and, of course, our ultimate guide to cleaning every single room in your house.
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