Real talk — if you’re a parent, you’ve probably caught your kid doing something really weird from to time.
Well, Reddit user I_1234_Myself asked parents to share the weirdest thing they’ve caught their kids doing, and I’m hollering like never before:
«I caught my daughter packing turds into cardboard toilet paper tubes and hiding them under the sink. She called them ‘poop bombs.'»
«When my son was about 4, I caught him looking up at the light fixtures and whispering. I asked him what he was doing, and he said, ‘I’m asking all the light bulbs in the house to not fall and kill you.’ Thanks, Son — he’s truly got my back.»
«I found my kid talking to the hole in the sink when he was 2. He said that’s where God lives.»
«I caught my twins — who are in first grade — measuring each other’s penis with a tape measure.
«When I was little, my mom caught me bringing eggs from the kitchen into my room and sitting on them in a blanket ‘nest,’ hoping they would hatch.
«I’d put the eggs back into the fridge when they didn’t hatch after a few days.»
«We caught my sons — 3 and 6 at the time — sitting on the toilet together, one behind the other, pooping. They told us it was a ‘double poop.'»
«Caught my daughter drinking strawberry milk and then spitting it back into the cup so she could drink it again.»
«I kept finding dead worms in my kid’s pockets when I did the laundry. Well, one day while my kid was helping me in the garden, I saw him pick up some worms, kiss them, and put them in his pocket. He said he does that because he loves them.
«I convinced him that the worms are happier in the ground, so now he puts them back on the ground after kissing them.»
«Caught my kid coating himself in Costco garlic powder.»
«Discovered my brother was keeping a ‘pee hat’ in his toy box, which was literally what it sounds like — a hat he could pee in during the night. Well, it was already a stupid idea, since he wasn’t emptying it, but to top if off, he chose a toy construction hat with holes in the top, so his makeshift toilet leaked.»
«Caught my son licking my toe. I asked him what he was doing and he said, ‘Time traveling.'»
«When my boys were about 2 and 7, I walked into their room and found them rocking on their hands and knees, singing, ‘We are the wieeeeeeener doooooogs!» I have no fucking idea why.»
«I caught my sister playing with a bag of yellowish liquid she’d pulled out of her backpack when she was 10. I asked her what it was, and she said it was her pee. She’d been keeping it for days, and every once in a while, she’d pull it out and play with it. I was horrified.»
«When my son was 3 years old, I caught him washing his eyebrows with facial cleanser. Just his eyebrows — wet, lather, rinse, repeat. He said it made them nice and soft.»
«We caught our daughter packing peas from our garden up her nose. We had to take a trip to the emergency room, where the doctor thought it was hilarious.»
«Caught my 2-year-old son licking the floor. He seemed really into it.»
«When my son was 3 years old, we noticed the smell of burned plastic coming from our heater vents. I called one of my friends who worked in heating to come over and take a look at our furnace, and about 15 minutes later, he asked me to hand him three garbage bags through one of the vents…
«He came back upstairs with three bags of plastic toys my son had been putting down the vents. And when I asked my son about it, he said, ‘Mommy, there are alligators down there, and if I don’t feed them my toys, they will eat my sister.»
«I woke up to my 5-year-old spraying Windex on the window next to my bed. She just nodded at me, then moved on to the next room. Later, she told me she was cleaning the windows so the cats could see better when they looked out of them.»
And lastly, this one, which I honestly have no words for:
«When I was a kid, I used to prefer to poop in the park closest to my house instead of at home. I wondered who cleaned up my poop every day because it was always gone by the next day. Well, after months of doing this, I found out it was a neighbor mom…
What about you? Have you ever caught your kid doing something weird, random, or hilarious? Tell us about it in the comments below, and you could be featured in a future BuzzFeed Community post!
Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Мысль на память: Если ваша единственная цель — стать богатым, вы никогда не достигнете ее.