17 Totally Funny — And Seriously Cringeworthy — Things People Have Learned About Their Partners During The Quarantine

"Привычка к упорядоченности мыслей единственная для тебя дорога к счастью; чтобы достигнуть его, необходим порядок во всем остальном, даже в самых безразличных вещах." Эжен Делакруа ZM
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Well, here’s another batch of the weird things our readers have been finding out about their partners since the quarantine began — and they just keep getting more and more hilarious:


Bravo

1.

«I learned that my fiance´ has the loudest, most obnoxious yawn — it’s so damn loud and intense. He says he could yawn quieter, but it ‘won’t feel the same.'»

—ashkoe

2.

«My boyfriend and I were playing a trivia game, and he said, ‘It said to list an animal. A snake isn’t an animal.’ Apparently, he thought mammal and animal were synonymous.»


CBS

3.

«My husband pronounces fajitas as ‘fa-jeet-ers.’ And his whole family does, too!»

—ccle182

4.

«My guy teaches virtual classes, and he punctuates every single sentence with, ‘Right?’ Like, ‘So you’re going to scroll all the way up, right? Go ahead and click on the link, right?’


Paramount Pictures

«I have been wearing earbuds for the entire quarantine.»

—beanielebean

5.

«I learned that my boyfriend doesn’t think cheese needs to be refrigerated. He literally keeps it on the counter, because that way ‘it melts better.’ Umm, WTF?»

—1313tacocat1313

6.

«My fiance´ poops three times a day. THREE TIMES A DAY. I can’t even fathom…»


Comedy Central

7.

«My boyfriend makes a gasping sound whenever he’s done drinking something. Every time — even after just one sip. It drives me crazy.»

—mellie06

8.

«It’s not my partner but my housemate who never shuts the bathroom door — not when we pees, showers, or shits. And the bathroom is right next to the living room, so I’ve been on conference calls with him groaning in the background!»


Comedy Central

9.

«I learned that my husband clears his throat literally all day, everyday. He inhales really big, then clears it with a weird, ‘ahem.’ He says he doesn’t even notice it, but I can hear it from outside!»

—samanthar42a22da62

10.

«My boyfriend didn’t know how to make microwave popcorn. He has never made it before, and didn’t even know which side goes up.»


Paramount Pictures

11.

«That my husband of nearly nine years breathes really hard when typing intensely.»

—amyw406029465

12.

«My husband says ‘acrosst’ when he means ‘across,’ and ‘seen’ instead of ‘saw’ — as in, ‘I seen the plane fly over.’ I just have to laugh.»


BET

13.

«My sister found out that her boyfriend puts mustard on tacos.»

—spaceinjector

14.

«I learned that my husband of five years didn’t know how lettuce grew — he thought it grew on a vine.»


Nine

15.

«My husband did an amazing job coloring my hair and doing my eyebrows. I am beyond amazed.»

—buttercup2018

16.

«My boyfriend didn’t know you should brush your tongue and the roof of your mouth when you brush your teeth.»

—hbarney80

17.

«That he’s an asshole. I’m never playing Monopoly with him ever again.»


Bravo

Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.






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