16 Funny Vagina Tweets You’re Only Allowed To Read If You Have A Vagina

"Либо вы управляете вашим днем, либо день управляет вами." Джим Рон ©
Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

«My vagina probably thinks I passed away.»


This one that’s basically a dad joke:


This one about how lonely things have gotten down there:

I preferred not having sex when it was on purpose. I felt accomplished. Brave even. Now I just feel like my vagina is a hostage, the cops aren’t looking for it and it will probably starve to death in a basement.


And this one about how little some vaginas are getting used right now:


This one about a new vagina hairstyle:

Before lockdown, I had laser hair removal on my lady parts. They only did the top half and I didn’t get to go back for the bottom half. Now my vag is bare up top, and a bush down below.
My vagina has a mullet.


This one about an inspiring message:

My 4-yr old just fell off her bike and said, “I fell and it hurt my vagina, but I got right back up.” New motto to live by, ladies.


This one about a vagina analogy:

My vagina is like my body’s draft folder. I don’t really use it enough and I’m often confused about why I put something in there.


This one about a lack of trust:

I haven’t seen my vagina in a month. My bf says she’s doing good but what the hell do he know.


This one about underwhelming reality:

i cannot imagine the agony of pushing someone out of my vagina only for them to give me a mug and a box of chocolates 20 years later


This one about being mortally offended:

I once accidentally sent a photo of my vagina to my son’s guidance counselor and she emailed me saying she had received a «very disturbing image» from me and I’m still waiting for an apology.


This one about the main use of vaginas nowadays:


This one about a lack of ~action~:


This one about an honest truth:


This one about trying to make OB-GYN visits more entertaining:

Gynecologist: Ok Kelley, if you’ll just slide all the way down on the table.

My vagina: Oh great, this asshole again?





Gyno: Kelley, for the last time stop making your vagina talk. It makes me uncomfortable.

My vagina: Shut up, pussy.


This one about nicknames:

I now refer to my pubic hair as my vagina beard.

I will not be taking questions at this time.


This one about telling it how it is:


And finally, this one that will be useful every Mother’s Day:

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